Datehazard’s Blog

On dating, singleness and adjusting to being 30ish.

What to do when you feel like calling your ex February 3, 2009

Filed under: Adjusting,Dating,Exes,Loneliness — datehazard @ 10:56 pm
Tags: , ,

Maybe it’s something in the air tonight.

It’s been snowing all day, small wet dabs of snow that melt into an icy mush on the sidewalk. Whenever it snows, there’s a hush in the city. Traffic sounds further away, quieter, less insistent. Voices are muffled under layers of fake fur, polyester, down. Faces are buried, smudges of eyes hurrying by. The city seems peaceful, but also lonely.

A friend of mine called; he’d been feeling ill and he was relieved I picked up his call. He said that he was “that” close to calling his ex. He’d confided in being tortured about her to me. I wasn’t sure how to respond, but I told him that the one thing to remember, if he could, was that this was a passing phase: the feeling of loss and longing would, in time, fade, or be replaced by some other obsession. I told him to get something nice to eat, to do something nurturing or silly for himself, and to call me if he felt like it. He called after he got something to eat, but I was trying to get some work done, and wasn’t able to help him as much as I’d have liked.

And then it happened to me — that same gnawing loneliness. It happened while I was watching a British crime drama I just found on NetFlix. A man met a woman, he expressed his intense attraction, and a tender romance started blooming. Why can’t life be that simple?

Now I feel like calling my ex, too. But I know how painful it would be to hear about his latest date, his most recent romantic interest. And I know that longing’s temporary, too. Plus, I still have some more work to do before tomorrow.


3 Responses to “What to do when you feel like calling your ex”

  1. imjohnnylaw Says:

    You sound like a good friend – at least you answered the phone !
    Of course he could go work out (but these feelings don’t usually coincide w/ the times the gym is open ..usually late @ night! ) He could go out ..but again if it’s late at night or cold & snowy out ..kind of sucks . Find some way to go to sleep . I agree , it will fade – but pass completely ? Maybe – hopefully a his GF’s aren’t all obsessions !
    If only life were like movies … but in real life that girl would prob think he’s some kind of stalker !
    Keep working’ll keep your mind off of him … like gramdma used to say “Busy hands are happy hands !”

  2. […] He’d been talking to me for quite some time about her. In fact, I mentioned him here in an earlier post. He was pretty hung-up about her, since they’d reconciled over Christmas, and things were […]

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