It’s not as if being single is unrelenting misery. In fact, most of the time my state of dating, or not, is just there. I’m working, it creeps into my thoughts, work supercedes it, random thoughts come back, etc. Mainly other impulses: hunger, a deadline, bills, roommate annoyances, some hilarious thread, keeps me amused and occupied.
But this morning the sense of loneliness was particularly hard. Who knows why? It probably has to do with hormones, the fact that Valentine’s Day is this week, the fullness of the moon, the fact that peas are usually mushy…
I asked a good friend who’s also single if he ever gets really lonely, and what he does, too. He told me he tries not to think about it, and concentrates on work. I had my morning coffee, went about my stuff, and checked my e-mail. A female friend had e-mailed me saying that her burgeoning relationship with someone she really liked is now over. They had a talk, and decided they were both looking for different things: he wants to party it up, and she wants something more serious. Sigh.
I know this will sound like schadenfreude — it probably is — but a part of me was a little glad that my lonely circle of 1 had now expanded to include another single woman in the same town. With whom I could also do non-couple-y things with. And bitch about being single. And mostly, to realise there are also up-sides to being single. Like not having to risk the pain of a breakup. Ouch.