Today I’m taking a mental health day. I’m also feeling a little under the weather. My low-grade sinus infection that has been developing over the last few days has nicely bloomed into a medium-grade state.
This is always my body’s cue to get me to slow down and to stop stressing about the small stuff. Like whether The Charmer will want to see me when he gets back. Whether he’s thinking about me at all. Whether anything can happen between us. Honestly, I started to get depressed, thinking about how he just doesn’t seem to be that into me. And yet, he keeps texting me and asking how I am and what I’m up to. Why do I put myself in this position? Why can’t I just delete his contact information and stop checking my phone? I am worn down and sad.
Meanwhile Indie Musician got mad at me for not calling him back. I’d been hesitant because I thought he’d lied to me about his age. When we met, he apologized for his lie–which actually turned out not to be a lie. He thought he’d e-mailed me his fake age, but actually had been upfront with me. We spoke on the phone and I said that the sense of unease and a bad first impression still remained. He had to rush off to his job, but he said he’d call later.
I honestly don’t have that much of a hope for this one, since I tend to hate liars. I had one bad experience in the past with a liar and he turned out to be quite the liar: a coke addict, who slept around with prostitutes and was a cross-dresser as well. And I found out all about that when I returned from a weekend away. My last boyfriend also lied; our relationship opened up with him lying about checking other women out on an online dating site. He hadn’t slept with them or gone out with them, but it was a rude shock, since he’d declared his undying devotion to me. Just before I found out. Needless to say, I’m a little gun-shy when it comes to people who lie, even about small shit.
So I’m taking a mental health day today. I’m still in my PJs, I’m going to eat some nice food, I’m going to call some friends and chat about nothing in particular, and maybe see a movie on my computer.
Corporate Lawyer wants to see me this evening but I am disappointed in him. He’d taken his visiting friend out to a performance yesterday, put on by another friend of his from high school. I felt like the unwashed FWB: never good enough to date publicly, but good enough to have in bed, and out as arm candy.
Ugh. Enough negativity! Time to rock out to some tunes and get on with it.