Datehazard’s Blog

On dating, singleness and adjusting to being 30ish.

Sitting with difficult emotions May 16, 2009

Filed under: Exes,Loneliness — datehazard @ 11:17 pm
Tags: , , ,

I’m travelling right now, and am sitting in a space that I used to share with my ex-boyfriend. It’s his apartment, and he isn’t here. He’s staying at his current girlfriend’s apartment.

I like the space, but the vacuum of his absence demarcates how this is no longer my home. It’s a place-in-waiting, even as my cats are here and the furniture and surroundings, mine.

The discomfort is niggling, insistent, rather than pronounced or tangible in some way. It’s a low grade hum: just loud enough to be unsettling.

I’m looking forward to be going back — although not to “home,” which for the time being does not exist.