I met up with The Analyst for the first time yesterday; it was a blind date arranged through a dating site I’d been a member of for a while. It was also my first blind date through the site, although not my first internet date in New York (or anywhere, for that matter: I’d first tried internet dating a few years ago).
I have to say, this might have been the best first date, ever, online or off.
Apparently our profiles matched each other in the high 90% category (whatever that means…). We’d chatted via instant messenger before, a few times, so it wasn’t as though he was completely foreign to me. But I hadn’t heard his voice before, since we hadn’t talked on the phone. I didn’t realise he was so new to the dating site, too — he actually joined on the day of my birthday.
The reason the date was so great was for both purely technical reasons, and because we seemed to get along. The technical was basically that I only had about 1.5 hours to spend with him before having to meet up with a friend. That meant that just as we were getting to know each other, I had to go. It kept the mood light and we got to know a little about each other, but not that much.
There’s a lot to be said for “short and sweet.” And for ending on a good note. The short meeting heightens desire: it makes one look forward to the next chance to meet. It was just about the right amount of time for me to tell my silly jokes and see whether anything I said would scare him. Not that I was deliberately trying to: it’s more of a way to see whether the other person would find something about me objectionable or not.
As for the non-technical, that had to do with his reaction to one of my stories. I told him how about the time I held a business grad student at a party into account for his condescending and misogynistic behaviour towards me. It involved me pretending to be as stupid and clueless as the guy had made me out to be, and then me revealing that I actually had a significant background in business through some “innocent” questions. You know, the kinds of questions one could never ask if one didn’t have quite a bit of knowledge and intelligence. Surprise! Then I started asking the business grad student some tough questions that he couldn’t answer. So he ran away to “get a drink” and never came back.
Now, there are basically two ways that someone can take this kind of a story, especially if you’re in the business field (which is where The Analyst is: yet another guy who works for a large financial corporation). Either you would think the person who is telling you this story is absolutely horrid and obnoxious, and you’d be irritated with her, drink your drink and politely leave; or, you’d find this account pretty amusing and your date’s handling of the situation would get high marks from you, because you’re kinda like the same kind of person. (I guess there can be a third option: you don’t really care or find the story that interesting and you’re thinking about something else, like maybe the size of your date’s “assets” or the latest football scores).
Fortunately for us both, it was reaction #2. I think I made The Analyst laugh so hard there was a tear in his eye.
Which made me think, “this is the best first date, ever.”
When I met up with my friend the Grad Student later in the evening (he was taking me out for a birthday drink), I told him about the situation, and remarked cynically (as I always do), “well, I guess there’s nowhere else to go but down, from here!” He laughed at me, and I laughed along. I’m joking, of course, but there’s some truth in there, too. It doesn’t really matter, that was a really great first date.
And he wants to see me again on Tuesday. I’m leaving the planning and details up to him.