Datehazard’s Blog

On dating, singleness and adjusting to being 30ish.

Something had to give March 6, 2009

Filed under: Loneliness,Singleness — datehazard @ 6:30 pm
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My overly ambitiously planned week has just fallen apart. My body refused to cooperate: I am now officially sick.

It’s nothing that serious. And to be honest, I’m feeling relieved. It was way too much for my body to handle, and I was overdue for a break.

I managed to network yesterday, fill in all of my obligations and put in my not unusual 16 hour day, including some fun stuff for myself, like a chance to eat at a restaurant I’d been wanting to check out for some time. I also bought myself a little present in honour of birthday week: an unlimited week-long transit pass to give me an excuse to get out and gleefully sight-see to my heart’s content. I live in New York City, for goodness’ sakes. It’s about time I travelled its length and breadth, explored every nook and cranny, adventured as much as I care to.

I’m also relieved, because it means that my plans to accommodate Corporate Lawyer and have him stay over for the first time in my apartment have thankfully fallen through. Having him stay here brings the relationship to a whole new level that I’m just not comfortable with.

So instead, I returned home, took a shower, slipped into my pjs, and am listening to some music I absolutely adore and don’t often get a chance to listen to.

Later, I might pour myself a glass of red wine that I also rarely get a chance to sip, slip in a movie or click through a selection on Netflix, continue writing a short story I’ve been neglecting for the last few weeks, and savour the dull steady current of aloneness that late nights and early mornings bring into focus.

And if I really get bored, I might even call some friends.

 

Meeting the friends & family March 1, 2009

Filed under: Adjusting,Dating — datehazard @ 11:38 pm
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Last night, I met up with the Corporate Lawyer, his sister, his visiting lawyer friend, and her two married friends (another corporate lawyer, and an architect).

We had dinner at a delicious restaurant, and I got very drunk while we were waiting for our table. It took a while for them to get our table ready, eventhough we had a reservation, and Corporate Lawyer and myself were the first people to arrive. The drink I had at the bar, on an empty stomach, went right to my head. Fortunately, the drunkenness really came into full force during the serving of the main course, and no one seemed to notice.

Meanwhile, Corporate Lawyer had been particularly agitated that day, and told me that he was really worried that he was going to get the axe at work. He’d read one of his partner’s actions as a sign that his performance was not considered up to snuff. It didn’t sound that way to me, but I’m not sure if there was more information he was withholding, and didn’t press for details. He was miserable enough as it was. At one point, he said to me, “well, DH, I guess you’re going to be the only breadwinner soon.”

I laughed at him and gave him a hug to cheer him up.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re still not dating exclusively, and I still get the “I’m not sure I’m that into you” vibe from him, but he’s starting to open up a little more to me. Which is, frankly, neither a good nor a bad thing.

Call me opportunistic or just plain lazy — or most likely both — but I just don’t really care about this relationship. He has a lot on his plate, as do I, and I’m perfectly happy to coast for now. Especially after the drama of The Charmer. It’s nice to hang out (and occasionally make out) with someone who’s pretty undemanding, pleasant company, and pretty straightforward. I keep thinking that we should be having a serious conversation about Where This Is Going, but last time I checked (about a week ago), he was totally uncomfortable with anything serious, and told me that he was happy with how things were. Which I clarified as that we’re dating other people. The only thing I asked for was that he would tell me if/when he slept with someone else, for my own health’s sake. We’re both cautious and safe people, but I’d rather minimize my risk whenever possible.

So, I guess there’s nothing to worry about?

I’m not looking to date anyone else right now. Should I be? Should I hedge my bets?

This is starting to feel like work…