So, last night was the big, weird, awkward, and eventually hilarious singles party. I started the evening with a guy in his 50s, who was pleasant enough, but really, a little too old for me; and ended the evening with a firecracker of a 40-year-old, henceforth known as The Charmer.
The Charmer was with his friend, The Entrepreneur. Both had been having some drama with women hitting on them in ways they felt to be aggressive, so when I first approached the Charmer, he wasn’t really interested in talking to me. Eventhough he’d been trying to catch my eye while I was otherwise occupied with the 50-year-old.
The Charmer works in a corporate job in senior management for a large multi-national clothing company. The funny thing is, it wasn’t as if I could tell he was an exec just by looking at him. What had attracted me at first were his glasses, then the cute way he started dancing a little to the music. I’d thought perhaps he was a nerd, or an academic type. I was thinking, “maybe advertising, maybe marketing.” I didn’t expect him to be such a corporate guy.
But when I walked up to him and introduced myself to him, all of that didn’t matter. What overwhelmed me and pushed me into a state of pure lust was the cologne he was wearing. At almost the same time that I noticed how he smelled, he noticed how I smelled, and asked what perfume I was wearing. I told him, and he expressed how attractive it was. I smiled because I had been thinking exactly the same thing about him, although I hadn’t said anything.
And then we started talking, and I found him absolutely, ridiculously charming. In an entirely abrasive, uncouth, clumsy fashion. For instance, he referred to his ethnic background using a racial slur, without batting an eye (delivered with a “matter of fact” unself-consciousness, in fact). He made off-colour jokes that I couldn’t but help burst out laughing to, and when he noticed my reaction, he warmed up and just kept them coming. He also had really kind, smiley eyes. Even if he had a kind of macho bravado about him. Utterly compelling. I was transfixed watching him and his friend in action. The two were feeding off each other’s energy, posturing, posing, engaging in one-upmanship against each other, and disclosing waaaay too much information.
In fact, they even got into sexual preferences and experiences in so much detail I had to call a time-out. Their descriptions of the combinations and permutations of gender and number left my mind reeling with vivid images of writhing, sweaty bodies, piled naked on top of, beside, behind, under, (between? What are some other prepositions…) each other. Way too much information for what’s not even a first date.
And then we said our goodbyes and The Charmer whisked me off home in his waiting car service. Along the way, vigorous groping and making out commenced, along with much passionate kissing. I wished the car had been equipped with a privacy screen. But then again, it’s probably best it wasn’t, or there might have been no modesty to boast of, on either of our parts, in the short 20 minutes it took to get to my house. And along the way, The Charmer asked me to seriously consider going on holiday with him next weekend.
And today he brought it up again and I started looking at flights. After calling a dear girl friend and dishing. We’re going to try to meet one last time before he has to fly out, to see whether it really is such a great idea.
And now I’m pretty exhausted, but I have a blind date with Indie Musician tonight. This has been a hilarious and amazing Valentine’s week for me, regardless of whatever else happens. I don’t think I have had as much fun on Valentine’s, ever. Another benefit of being single: having incredible experiences not possible to be experienced when in a monogamous relationship. And all along, I’d never known what I was missing: all the entertainment and comedic antics of singleness.